Unity is not for villains
by TGA
Summary: Zurg gathers all the villains of the universe in hopes to unite and destroy Buzz Lightyear and Star Command!!! Chaos abounds. Plus the new secret weapon!


Unity is not for Villains...  
  
  
  
It was a beautiful and peaceful day on Capital Planet, and it was so on Jo-ad, same as Tangea, likewise Rhizome, even Tradeworld was having a nice peaceful day besides the little things like bank robberies and muggers. As a matter a fact, it was such a peaceful and beautiful day that most of the Space Rangers of Star Command were on traffic duty, while the others were on patrol. Soon, some, particularly Buzz Lightyear, started to wonder what all the bad guys of the galaxy were doing, for he was bored out of his wits with the traffic duty.  
  
"Today, is sooooo slow..." Buzz said as he watched the traffic that was no where near going in a jam. "Why can't we be chasing space scum?" Buzz grumbled.  
  
"Well, maybe because there is no space scum to chase at the moment?" XR pointed out as he flew past Buzz, followed by Booster who was checking the passing space ships' speed.  
  
"No one's even speeding today!" Booster said, amazed.  
  
"Its so weird!" Mira said, "There's no crime anywhere, what is with that?!"  
  
"It must be a trick!" Buzz said, still watching the traffic.  
  
"Oh, like when Zurg convinced you that all evil was gone with that being thrown in the 1000 years in the future thingy, right?"  
  
"That's just it, Zurg will soon make an evil move to trick us all while our guard is down! Thats just what Zurg must be doing..."  
  
This made the rest of Team Lightyear a little nervous, but now they were more alert with what the ships were doing. They were wasting their time. For once, Buzz Lightyear made a wrong prediction about what Zurg was going to do. Zurg didn't care if they thought that he was trying to make it look like evil was gone, he had a more diabolic plan, one that would and will finish off Buzz Lightyear once and for ALL!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
If only he could get it to work...  
  
* * *  
  
  
  
"My evil emperor?!" One of Zurg's grubs called out to the snoozing Zurg who happened to be sleeping on his throne. What he got in reply was nonetheless evil brilliance.  
  
"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz..." Evil snoring!  
  
The grub called again. "Emperor Zurg?!!"  
  
"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...."  
  
"Zuuuuuurrrrg?!!!"  
  
"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...."  
  
"EMPEROR ZURRRRRRRG!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Zzzz* huh? Oh, stop shouting! I can hear you easily! What is it?!"  
  
"They're all here, sir!"  
  
"Who? Oh, yeah... in that case, send them in!"  
  
"They are in."  
  
"Oh, really?" Zurg looked around, and sure enough, so they were! Namely, Warp Darkmatter, NOS-4-A2, Torque, XL, the Gargantians, Gravitina, the evil Buzz Lightyear (dressed as Shiv Katall), Natron the, um, Space Mummy, Lord Angstrom, Lurdak Lordak, Era, Eon, and Epoc, the Grounders, and all of the other vile, evil, villainous, wicked, criminal, and just plain bad guys of all the universe! Every bad guy in the entire universe was in Zurg's palace!  
  
"Greetings to all of you!" Zurg called out to them.  
  
"HI ZURG!!!" Every single one yelled to him. And the yell was so loud that some of the windows shatered.  
  
"Ooooow!!!!! You don't have to shout!!!" Zurg said as he fell off his throne.  
  
After Zurg got up and stopped taking out his rage on his grubs, he went to business.  
  
"Ahem, now then! I'm sure you're all wondering why I called you all here today, aren't you?" Zurg asked the huge crowd.  
  
"Well, not really," some called back.  
  
"What?!"  
  
"We all know that you're either going to try to destroy Buzz Lightyear or atomize Star Command, or maybe even both!"  
  
"Well, yes, that would be what I'm aiming at. Once Star Command is no more--"  
  
Zurg was interrupted by XL. "Yeah, whatever, what do you want us for? Back home I was just getting an idea to make swiss cheese outta my brother!"  
  
Then NOS-4-A2 came in. "No! I want to be the one who destroys XR!"  
  
Then the whole room went up in an uproar.  
  
"Who cares about that robot!" Lord Angstrom began, "I want Tangea!"  
  
"No! Boom boom boom! We do!" The Grounders all yelled.  
  
"Ah, le'ts go and steal everything from the ships that pass us!" Torque yelled.  
  
"Ah! Go dunk your heads! We need to destroy Star Command before anything else!" Evil Buzz said as he raised his fists.  
  
"No! We must blow Capital Planet to smithereens!" Warp yelled.  
  
"You moron! Then Star Command could easily come in and stop us!" Evil Buzz said to Warp.  
  
"Who you callin' a moron!?" Warp screamed as he started to shoot at Evil Buzz.  
  
"Ah! No one can stop Buzz Lightyear! Good or bad!!! YAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!"  
  
Zurg watched as the whole room broke into a huge fight.  
  
"STOOOOPPP! STOP RIGHT NOW!!!!" Zurg yelled as the fighting continued. "Sighhhhh... Grubs! The secret weapon!!!"  
  
The grubs brought out the secret weapon, which happened to be a TV with Buzz Lightyear of Star Command playing. Everybody stopped fighting and turned to smash the TV to little bits, giving Zurg a chance to say, "Now then! I'm sure you all want to know how I intend to destroy Buzz Lightyear and Star Command? I'll just tell you..."  
  
By then everyone was done kicking at the pile of TV scrap, and looked towards Zurg.  
  
"Ok, now I'm sure we all hate Buzz Lightyear galore, right?" Zurg asked them all.  
  
"BAH! BUZZ LIGHTYEAR (the good one) MUST DIIIIIE!!!" Everyone yelled, so more windows broke.  
  
"OW! Ok, we all hate Star Command too right?" This time Zurg covered his ears.  
  
"BAH! STAR COMMAND MUST BE (we mean it) DESTROYED!!!"  
  
"Yes! We all agree!" Zurg called down happily.  
  
"Yeah, um, Zurg, what's the point of this?" XL asked.  
  
"I'll tell you! For years Buzz Lightyear has always gotten the better of us! Always foiled our plans! But now, Buzz Lightyear cannot ruin my plan! We must all unite together (as much as I hate working with other people), and every single villain in the entire universe all together can march out and stop Buzz Lightyear! We are too many for him! For all the rangers of Star Command! So all we have to do is go out there, and destroy Buzz Lightyear!!!!"  
  
"YAAAY!!!! WE WILL (finally) WIN!!!" More windows bit the dust.  
  
"Oooooooow, now then, all come to my planning room and we will discuss what is to be done! Come!"  
  
Every villain ran into the planning room; unfortunately, Zurg's planning room wasn't big enough for all the villains in the universe, so only the evilest went in. Namely, all the ones we know from BLoSC.  
  
When everyone was seated--which actually took longer then you'd think, because first off none of the robots wanted to sit next to NOS-4-2A, and then Torque complained about being sqiushed between XL and Gravitina's head, so Gravitina had to move, but since the evil Buzz wanted to sit next to her, he had to move, and after that Norbert Klerm said he should be in Zurg's chair cause he was the richest, but Zurg punched him, and then Rent Whiselswak tried to cheat Crumford Lorak into giving him his chair, then Lord Angstrom grumbled about being too close to the grounders, so they moved, but they were still too close so they had to move again, then Lord Angstrom complained about being in a room fulled of "brainless monkeys" and that started a brawl, and then everybody had to find their seats again-- Zurg began.  
  
"Ok, now that we're all finally settled," Zurg said, "I'd like to direct your attention to this screen." As Zurg said this, a screen came down from the ceiling with a picture of Star Command and the surounding space. "Now, then, I have this idea--"  
  
Zurg was interrupted by Norbert Klerm. "I thought we were going to talk about my new slam bots! They're much better than the first ones. You should see what they do to fruit! And they're only 99,999,999.95 unibucks. Want one?"  
  
"No! We don't! Now be quiet! If Star Command was being attacked at this end--"  
  
Then Lord Angstrom interrupted Zurg. "I want a new seat."  
  
"Grrrr! Why?!" Zurg asked, glaring at him.  
  
"I don't like sitting next to undead," Lord Angstrom said with a sneer, referring to Natron the Space Mummy.  
  
"Who you calling undead, pointy beard?!" Natron growled.  
  
"Why you, you uneducated, pathetic ol' buffoon!"  
  
"Why, how dare you speak that way to your future ruler!"  
  
"Ruler? I've seen better ruling squeeies than you!"  
  
"Why you--!!!"  
  
Natron jumped Lord Angstrom and knocked him under the table, where everyone heard punching and kicking while insults sounded. Then Norbert Klerm was pulled under, along with XL. Then everbody decided to join in the fight. Except Zurg.  
  
"Stooooooop itttt! That's an expensive table! It's black, too! STOOOOPPPP!" Zurg shrieked. Unfortunately, Zurg's expensive table was being destroyed from beneath it.  
  
"Grubs! The secret weapon!!!" Zurg yelled as the table started to blow up.  
  
Once again the grubs brought out a TV, only this was a big screen TV, and it had huge loud speakers. So with that, the same ol' heroic words blasted out at all the villains.  
  
"Evil, never wi...!!!"  
  
KaaaaBLAMMMMM!!!!!  
  
The TV was reduced to crumbs, and everone was growling and sneering. Then Zurg drew their attention back to the screen with Star Command showing.  
  
"Okay, now, my idea is this, all the robots and my hornets will distract this end, then we live people will come over here and--"  
  
Just then, NOS-4-A2, XL, X-Treme, Shiv Katall (who was mistaken for a robot at this point), and a bunch of wirewolves all started to complain.  
  
"Hey! Why should we be the ones to just distract Star Command!" XL grumbled. "We want a better job! Who wants to do that boring job!!!"  
  
"Yeah! We want a funner job!" X-Treme yelled.  
  
"Why do the "live people" get to do all the major evil things!" NOS-4- A2 said.  
  
"Grrr growl! Grrrrrr! Snarl! Roar!" All the wirewolves agreed.  
  
The robots all started to wave their arms in the air as they threatened to destroy all "live people."  
  
"Oh, sit down!" Zurg yelled. "Someone has to distract Star Command!!! And I choose you!"  
  
Then before anyone could shout anything, Gravitina yelled, "We shouldn't destroy Star Command yet! Let's lure Buzzums--"  
  
"Buzz...ums?" Everone asked at once.  
  
"Um, lets lure BUZZ into a trap! Then we can utterly destroy him!!!"  
  
"Naahh, that sounds girly!" Warp said.  
  
"Hey, you're right! We don't wanna catch BuuUuzzums in a dorky ol' trap!" Torque said, "We wanna do something more... manly!"  
  
"Yeah! We should boom boom shooo gloo ba shood oh boom!" The grounders yelled.  
  
"Thats not manly! Besides, that sounds boring!" XL began, "Let's kidnap someone! Namely XR, then we ransom him, and get lots of money! Then kill Buzz and him!"  
  
"You only want to do that so you can destroy your "little brother"!" NOS-4-A2 pointed out. "Here's what we really should do! We sneak into Star Command and I drain all the power! Then we attack all the rangers!"  
  
"Noo! We don't wanna do that!" Team Z screamed. "It's dumb, and stupid! The grown-ups ain't goin' to just let us in! We should all disguise ourselves as clowns! Then we come in saying that we're actors! And when they let us in--"  
  
"My idea was dumb?! There's no way I'm dressing up like a clown!" NOS- 4-A2 argued.  
  
"Well, you can dress up like a cat or something!" Zzub said, and was about to continue when Shiv Katall, Warp, the raenoks, Norbert Klerm, and Lord Angstrom started to shout out their ideas.  
  
"No way! We should--"  
  
"No! My idea is better--"  
  
"No it isn't! The only way to--"  
  
"Ah what do you know! We should--"  
  
"Who cares! Let's--"  
  
Then the whole room exploded into fights again.  
  
Then Zurg went into a berserk rage and joined in.  
  
Then the hornets came in.  
  
Then everything (except the little screen with Star Command and the surrounding space being shown, oh and all the villains) was atomized.  
  
"Oh, craters! And that was a brand new table lamp!" Zurg complained as it smashed to the floor, then he continued punching whoever was in the way. Soon the grubs decided to bring out another TV, which was a theater- sized one.  
  
"TO INFINITY, AND...!!!"  
  
KaaaabOOOOmmm!!!  
  
The theater-sized TV was steaming ashes.  
  
Zurg had had enough of this, and shouted before anyone could say anything, "AH FORGET A PLAN!!! LET'S JUST GO TO STAR COMMAND AND HOPE FOR THE BEST!!!!"  
  
"YAAAAAAYYY! LET'S!!!!" Everone yelled.  
  
"Ooow! LETS GOOOOOOOO!!!!" Zurg said as he and all the villains in the planning room (now the room of scraps of ashes) ran out the door and were joined by all the other villains who had waited outside.  
  
Then, all the villains in all the universe ran to transports and the like, and zoomed off to Star Command. This time, Buzz Lightyear along with Star Command would not be able to defeat them! They were invincible together!!!!! MWAHHHAHHAHAHHA!!!  
  
  
  
* * *  
  
In the end, all the villains, evil warlords, thieves, smugglers, etc., etc., etc., all rushed towards Star Command in uncountable numbers, and when Star Command learned that they were coming, they knew it was the end, but of course Buzz Lightyear, along with his team (we can't have all the other space rangers, they're boring!), flew up to them and started to defend Star Command. When a bunch of raenoks, wirewolves, and grounders had surrounded Buzz, Zurg took the perfect opportunity, and aimed his really big gun at him. That's when the problems started.  
  
First, when Shiv Katall (he's the evil Buzz, remember) saw Zurg about to kill Buzz, he got in the way and said, "No! I want to be the one to kill Buzz!" And he shoved Zurg outta the way, and aimed his guns at Buzz. When XL, Warp Darkmatter, Gravitina, Torque, NOS-4-A2, and ever other major villain saw that the evil Buzz was the one who would get to kill Buzz, they all ran in and started to fight over who would actually get to do it. By this time, Team Lightyear had dealt with all the raenoks, wirewolves, grounders, and all the littler villains, so they all went to the major villains. Of course, they were all still fighting so it was easy to handcuff one who wasn't paying attention and drag him (or her) away.  
  
And when there were only four left, (Zurg, Warp, evil Buzz and Lord Angstrom), they all ran away. The one who got to say the last word was Lord Angstrom.  
  
"Hey! I thought we were going to attack Tangea!"  
  
And as we all know, evil lost and good won. (And I didn't have to bring in the boring ol' other rangers!) So now we know that unity is not for villains...  
  
The end. 


End file.
